There are going to be SPOILERS for MAGISTER VALLEY here, but I’ll keep them in the comments.
So, you’ve read chapter sixteen, and you’re ready to yell at Steven about it?
Readers of Dragaeran historical romances will be familiar with wishing to yell at Paarfi and Steven. But this one is really going to cause some wailing and gnashing of teeth. Comments here for us to commiserate together.
Steve has been asked more and more what he’s going to do once he’s finished the Vlad stories, but he’ll never tell. I, however, have the secret insider knowledge of what cometh next. I think the fans deserve to know. So don’t tell skzb, but I’m going to reveal to you the general outline for the sequel cycle.
—Your obedient servant,
J. Phalian
sQuirrelCo Textbenders, Inc.
Jhereggeddon — Vlad must assassinate his biggest target yet: an asteroid.
2 Yendi 2 Furious — Carriage racing makes a comeback on the streets of Adrilankha but no one could have known the political consequences!
Teckla of Dreams — If you build a robust urban society, hardy but cheerful members of the peasant underclass will come.
Taltos Family Values — They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky. They’re altogether hard-bitten assassins… the Taltos Family.
Phoenix 2: The Empire Strikes Back — Vlad survives a frozen wasteland, trains his witch powers in a swamp, then finds out who his father really is.
The Athyras of Eastwick — Vlad grants the wishes of three single ladies of the Athyra. Hijinx ensue. Then he kills them.
Orca 2 — Vlad uncovers a deep-laid conspiracy to evade imperial taxes on vast amounts of wealth, but breaks it wide open using postage laws.
How to Train Your Dragonlord — Teenage Vlad has a charming coming-of-age story, co-starring a large floppy black kitty. He defeats the House of the Dragon, brings peace to the village, and actually kisses a suitable romantic partner, for real.
Mrs. Doubtssola — HELLLLLLOOOOOOO! Vlad hides from the Left Hand in the last place they’ll expect: as a lady nanny for his own son.
Dzur Hard With a Vengeance — The Dzur do some Dzuring around Dzurtown and things just might get Dzurtabulous!
Jhegaala 2 — Consists of three books written at once in collaboration with another Steve, accompanied by four wide-release feature films, following Vlad’s adventures on an alien world where he discovers a society where everyone is taller than him and also blue-skinned.
Legally Iorich 2: Red, White, and Blonde — Vlad becomes a voice for the voiceless when he helps an Iorich friend save cute dogs from cruelty.
Tiassas of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 — Vlad and friends have a psychedelic adventure in far-flung regions of space. They steal a guy’s prosthetic eye. Vlad finally finds out who his father is, again.
The Wrath of Hawk — A mysterious Hawklord that Vlad previously defeated turns up again wearing a cool barbarian space vest and puts creepy mind-control worms into everyone’s ears. Vlad has been, and always shall be, your friend.
Pride and Prejudice and Vallista — Vlad teams up with Lizzy Bennett to fight a new foe: architects gone mad with power. Meanwhile, Vlad’s sisters are excited about the marital prospects offered by the new tenants of the mansion overlooking the ocean-sea.
Tsalmoth 2: Electric Boogaloo — Vlad competes in the dance-off sequel we deserve and finds out who his father really actually totally is, for real. Jesus tap-dancing Christ.
Hello Dreamcafe! This is Jen, here to post about Steve’s Patreon. If you like Steve’s work and would like to put in some monthly money to help him keep writing with less financial stress, now is an excellent time for it! Steve posts updates on his writing progress to the Patrons, and occasional Dreamcafe posts will be released to Patrons early. More rewards may be released in the future, too.
There are a bunch of great writers on Patreon, actually, so maybe poke around the site a little.
A sampling of television programs Steve and Jen are looking forward to in the coming season:
Arc of My Heart: A teen historical romance following Joan of Arc and her high school class as they discover love and fight the English.
Ep 01: “Pilot.” In 1428, Joan and her classmates enter their junior year at Orleans High, home of the Fighting Maids. Joan has no plans to marry, as she is saving herself to be a magical paladin-bride to Jesus, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t interested in the latest dresses and helping her friends Margaret and Catherine catch husbands! Margaret has her eye on the Archangel Michael, who is secretly the bastard half-brother of Louis, Duke of Orleans, but he’s been promised to Tiffany, the mean blonde handmaiden of the Duchess. Can the ladies finish their alchemy homework before English bowmen attack?
Ep 04: “The Rose.” Joan’s encounter with the handsome garrison commander has her questioning the value of holy virginity. Handmaiden Tiffany is with child, possibly by the mad Headmaster Charles VI, freeing Michael to court Margaret, but Joan has a vision and is forced to decide whether to tell them that their romance could doom all of France. There is a mystery beast from the forest terrorizing the teachers’ lounge.
Ep 10: “Redder Than Blood.” Now secretly wed to the Dauphin, Joan travels to Burgundy with Catherine and Michael’s half-angel infant daughter in a desperate bid to raise troops. Michael continues building Joan’s +2 Armor of Siege-Lifting in shop class, but runs into trouble when mad Headmaster Charles VI starts asking too many questions. The mystery beast from the forest turns out to be a friendly highwayman who teaches the handmaidens a very special lesson about disability and Christmas, which may have been inside them all along. (Guest star: Aldis Hodge)
*****
Mercutio and the Nurse: He’s one of the finest blades in Verona, she’s a foul-mouthed dry nurse. Together, they fight crime.
Ep 01: “Pilot.” Friar Laurence goes missing. Notes are delivered to Capulet and Montague that they must each produce 1,000 ducats, and deliver them together, or the friar will be killed. Capulet and Montague, though both fond of Laurence, will not cooperate. Can Mercutio and the Nurse find the kidnapper in time?
Ep 02: “Too Too Flimsy Evidence.” A mysterious stranger comes to town and reveals himself to be a prince. Mercutio and the Nurse must accompany him to Denmark to solve the mystery of his father’s murder, lest he take the law into his own hands, with dire consequences for all.
Ep 09: “When In Florence.” Mercutio and the Nurse receive an urgent message from their friends Leo and Nick, who have been accused of fomenting rebellion against Pope Alexander VI. Can their innocence be proved? (crossover)
*****
Leo and Nick: In this screwball comedy set in Renaissance Italy, Leonardo da Vinci is an expert on everything except politics, and Niccolo Machiavelli is a political fixer. Along with papal spy Lucrezia Borgia and her well-meaning but bumbling brother Cesare, what will they get up to next?
Ep 01: “Pilot.” Leo and Nick decide that the best way to give Florence access to the sea is to reroute the Arno River. Everything is going fine until Cesare Borgia shows up to help. Hijinks ensue. Meanwhile, Lucrezia searches the papal residence for a “B” plot.
Ep 02: “Been Weighting Long Enough.” When Leo invents an anti-gravity device, Cesare Borgia accidentally flies off in it. Nick has to keep the secret from his girlfriend Lucrezia until Leo can find a way to get him back.
Ep 10: “Questionable Taste.” Leo invents a time machine, and he and Nick travel to the New World in the 21st Century. In a place called Louisiana, they meet a Moor who is surrounded by vampires. Charmed by his jambalaya and his strangely enjoyable smoke, they decide to save him. (crossover)
*****
True Weed: In this “True Blood” spinoff, Lafayette cooks and deals his way from one side of the country to the other, helping those in need with his wisdom and outstanding stash.
Ep 01: “Pilot.” While passing through Austin, Texas, Lafayette meets a group of hipsters who plan to steal his dope. He is warned by Byron, a handsome stranger in cowboy boots. Lafayette must hang onto his weed while teaching them about fair play and how to cook crayfish.
Ep 2: “And Vine.” Lafayette and his new sidekick Byron reach Hollywood and run into a bunch of studio executives. This is his chance to convince them to make the “Black Widow” movie we’ve all been dreaming of. His pot is good, but is it good enough? (Guest star: Scarlett Johansson)
Ep 11: “Hearts and Minds.” Lafayette and Byron arrive in New York City. A famous TV personality is on a campaign to tighten drug laws. Lafayette goes on his show and wins his heart with his famous Cajunburgers. But he’s put something extra into the dessert. Will it be enough to change the TV personality’s mind? Meanwhile, Byron insists they visit Times Square for reasons of his own. (Guest star: Larry King)
*****
Sons of Piety: This steamy crime drama features Pilgrims as you’ve never seen them before. Through witch trials, gang wars, and international ergotphetamine smuggling deals, one family will learn that loyalty and progress are the most important values.
Ep 01: “Upon This Plymouth Rock.” Goody and Goodman Teller rule crime in the north side of Plymouth Rock, from manufacture of forbidden Catholic dispensations to black market trade in maize and flax. The family’s daughters Elizabeth and Abigail have just invented eyeliner, and combined with their boredom from being confined to narrow-minded gender roles, trouble is brewing and bubbling double-time.
Ep 02: “The Trial.” The girls have accused their mother Tara of witchcraft, along with Wendy the Cook. The town tattoo artist is accused of slipping the devil’s mark into tattoos. Plymouth Rock might be shattered by the accusations, especially when famous traveling barrister Alan Shoreman comes to defend them. (Guest star: James Spader)
Ep 10: “New Kids on the Block.” When five handsome Quakers arrive with a musical message of peace and love, they’ve got it–the right stuff, that is. Many of Jax’s foot soldiers start hangin’ tough with the Friends. Worse, Jax suspects Goody Tara of having pantsfeelings for their leader Jonathan. Does she want to be his girl? Will the fight get bloody, or will Jonathan talk Jax into a dance-off? (Guest stars: Donny Wahlberg, Jonathan Knight)
Dearest Steven,
I write to you in the form of a draft blog post as a reminder to us both that we ought to be publicizing your upcoming convention and festival appearances, and further, that such public-facing mentions of same should be cheery, perhaps even excited, in tone–though it wouldn’t do to be crass–and must additionally give all relevant details and links for the appearances in question.
I am certain that your mind, which, being fair, nimble, and concise enough to amass the many fans who at this time are doubtless waiting with bated breath for news of your public appearances, could produce a note which accomplishes the goals outlined above with the effort of a mere moment.
Until such time as we can enjoy the satisfaction of pressing “Publish” on that happy post, I remain your affectionate,
Jen
*****************
I cannot but admit to the extreme justice of your observation. As my plans for travel come close, it may be that someone who reads this would be interested in learning where I intend to be, and, just as much, when I intend to be there.
Believe me when I say that your kindness in taking on the burden of disseminating the details of these plans is not unappreciated.
-skzb
*****************
I would be rather more a poor than a humble servant were I to balk at such a pleasurable task as delineating a schedule, but I fear I must dare so far as to disagree with you on one point, and that solitary point is, as you must have already guessed, the word ‘burden’. Such a word, applied in this instance, implies that it would be weighty or difficult to do so. Yet, merely by working through the night shifting data, crafting links, and dyeing pixels to your usual specifications, I have already queued the relevant information and appended it to this very missive.
Now I must beg you not to waste a moment of your precious time or energy in any unnecessary displays of gratitude, as I assure you, it was no trouble whatsoever.
-Jen
*****************
The Horse! This is astonishing! And only your remonstrance–to ignore which would, under the circumstances, be the height of inconsideration–prevents me from using all of my hard-won, long-practiced, and well-cherished eloquence to express the profound degree of gratitude, and, moreover, admiration, that the splendid, timely, and elegant completion of this task has inspired in me.
-skzb