The Dream Café

Steven Brust: “A masterful storyteller of contagious glee and self-deprecating badassery” —Skyler White

A Poker Song

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(If the tune isn’t obvious, you are lucky, and I won’t ruin your life by directing you to the original)

It’s after midnight on Saturday
The tourney’s been running since nine.
The rock to my left is my only hope
Since he’s never defended his blinds.
So the action folds all the way round to me
I make the only move that I can.
But for just once this round, the bastard looks down
And somehow comes up with a hand.

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Chorus:
Push it all in you’re the bubble man
Your tourney has come to a stop.
But at least on the long list of losers
Your name is right at the top.

Lee6 in seat one is a maniac
He bets like he just doesn’t care.
And it’s fully a lock he’ll be starting to mock
Me before I am out of my chair.
He types, “U play like an idiot
i always nu u’d be gone.”
I want to shout how he always sucks out
But I’m afraid that he isn’t wrong.

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da dat

There’s DoctorNo in the seven seat.
Who groans and whines all the time
He types “This is such rot, I’d have won that whole pot
If I had just played my queen-nine.”
And Dupo66 in the four seat’s
Been quiet the whole bloody game.
He’s here for the cash and doesn’t talk trash
Besides he’s from the Ukraine.

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Chorus

I did pretty good for a Saturday
This time  I reached a new peak.
But if I could just make my original stake
I could buy-in and do it next week.
I’m staring now at the tournament board
I don’t usually make it this long.
But there’s no reason to cry I guess sometime I’ll try
Without the tequila and bong.

Chorus


corwin

Author: corwin

Site administrative account, so probably Corwin, Felix or DD-B.

0 Comments

  1. Haha. Awesome. Took me a little while to figure out what the original was. I’m very literal minded.

    Do you actually play online? I’ve only dabbled. I miss the friendly table talk.

  2. Deal me a hand, you’re the poker man!

  3. I do online tournaments. I miss the friendly table talk too, alas.

  4. A shame you couldn’t pair it with something from ‘Glass Houses’.

  5. As a dueling pianist, I sing the original every night at work…

    I would much rather sing this one!

  6. Ha, better than the poem.

  7. That was a treat, hehe. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately) for me I got the original tune by the 3rd line.

    As far as I go with poker is Pogo, and if I don’t lose my entire stake before I get bored, then I did very well that session. But I keep playing anyhow, because of the friendly table talk.

  8. HA! Game and Ukraine…luv dat!

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