Co-written with Mark Hall
Some people say a man is made out of gore
Well a student is just a credit score
A credit score and a mind that’s spry
A future that’s bleak, and a bank that’s dry
You take sixteen creds and what do you get?
Nearer your degree and deeper in debt
St. Peter don’t you call me cuz I must stay
I owe my soul to Sallie Mae
Enrolled one morning, it was drizlin rain
“Get a degree” was the school’s refrain
Should I study English, or should it be Math?
Decades of debt was the only path.
You take sixteen creds….
I enrolled one morning I was at an impasse
Picked up my laptop and I walked into class
I took sixteen creds based on aptitude
And the T.A. said, “Well son, you’re screwed.”
You take sixteen creds…
This job pays just $8.95
It ain’t enough to keep a man alive
I can’t rent a roof to stop the wet
‘Cause $5.50 of that goes to service my debt
You take sixteen creds….
If you see me coming just say hello
I’m working a job that don’t pay what I owe
I earned a liberal arts degree
And all it got me was bankruptcy
You take sixteen creds….
(Yeah, there are scansion problems, I know. Suggestions welcome.)
They rewrote the bankruptcy rules to prevent people from discharging student loan debt. Otherwise, love it.
“I owe my soul to the company store…”
Too real.
Yup. Good one, too true.
Kragar: Yeah, I know. Still drives people to bankruptcy, though, so I think it can stand.
Applause.
For scansion, maybe:
You take sixteen creds and what do you get?
‘nearer your degree’ rather than ‘close to your degree’?
Scans much better. Is the meaning of “creds” clear enough in context?
You take 16 creeee…dits what do ya get
A semester older and deeper in debt
And I can’t even go into bankruptcy
Creds seems clear from the context; especially to an SF aware audience.
Updated. A couple of the suggestions taken. “Nearer” makes more sense, but doesn’t sing as well. I went with it anyway.
I changed it to “You take sixteen creds” but left the title unchanged; that might help anyone who’s confused.
Cool.
I’d replace “a bank account that’s dry” with “and a bank that’s dry”.
Going to record it once you’ve got the lyrics solidified?
“Closer to degree but further in debt” would allow the juxtaposition of closer and further.
David: I like that. Done.
rewritingdeath: Probably not. Anyone else is free to, however.
Not a scansion thing, but a lot of power in the original comes from the repeated long ‘o’ vowel in the last line.
Maybe “I owe my soul for a student loan,” or “I own my soul to Wells Fargo.”
How about “Take sixteen credits and what do you get,”
That is, drop the first “You”
At the end perhaps ” I earned ME a liberal arts degree and all that got me was bankruptcy” Just for syllablic flow?