Co-written with Mark Hall
Some people say a man is made out of gore
Well a student is just a credit score
A credit score and a mind that’s spry
A future that’s bleak, and a bank that’s dry
You take sixteen creds and what do you get?
Nearer your degree and deeper in debt
St. Peter don’t you call me cuz I must stay
I owe my soul to Sallie Mae
Enrolled one morning, it was drizlin rain
“Get a degree” was the school’s refrain
Should I study English, or should it be Math?
Decades of debt was the only path.
You take sixteen creds….
I enrolled one morning I was at an impasse
Picked up my laptop and I walked into class
I took sixteen creds based on aptitude
And the T.A. said, “Well son, you’re screwed.”
You take sixteen creds…
This job pays just $8.95
It ain’t enough to keep a man alive
I can’t rent a roof to stop the wet
‘Cause $5.50 of that goes to service my debt
You take sixteen creds….
If you see me coming just say hello
I’m working a job that don’t pay what I owe
I earned a liberal arts degree
And all it got me was bankruptcy
You take sixteen creds….
(Yeah, there are scansion problems, I know. Suggestions welcome.)
2 November 2018 at 5:02 pm
They rewrote the bankruptcy rules to prevent people from discharging student loan debt. Otherwise, love it.
“I owe my soul to the company store…”
2 November 2018 at 5:11 pm
Too real.
2 November 2018 at 5:13 pm
Yup. Good one, too true.
2 November 2018 at 5:14 pm
Kragar: Yeah, I know. Still drives people to bankruptcy, though, so I think it can stand.
2 November 2018 at 7:57 pm
Applause.
For scansion, maybe:
You take sixteen creds and what do you get?
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3 November 2018 at 7:14 am
‘nearer your degree’ rather than ‘close to your degree’?
3 November 2018 at 9:17 am
Scans much better. Is the meaning of “creds” clear enough in context?
3 November 2018 at 9:50 am
You take 16 creeee…dits what do ya get
A semester older and deeper in debt
And I can’t even go into bankruptcy
3 November 2018 at 4:33 pm
Creds seems clear from the context; especially to an SF aware audience.
3 November 2018 at 5:36 pm
Updated. A couple of the suggestions taken. “Nearer” makes more sense, but doesn’t sing as well. I went with it anyway.
3 November 2018 at 5:36 pm
I changed it to “You take sixteen creds” but left the title unchanged; that might help anyone who’s confused.
3 November 2018 at 5:42 pm
Cool.
3 November 2018 at 9:24 pm
I’d replace “a bank account that’s dry” with “and a bank that’s dry”.
3 November 2018 at 10:01 pm
Going to record it once you’ve got the lyrics solidified?
4 November 2018 at 8:07 am
“Closer to degree but further in debt” would allow the juxtaposition of closer and further.
4 November 2018 at 9:24 am
David: I like that. Done.
rewritingdeath: Probably not. Anyone else is free to, however.
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6 November 2018 at 7:14 am
Not a scansion thing, but a lot of power in the original comes from the repeated long ‘o’ vowel in the last line.
Maybe “I owe my soul for a student loan,” or “I own my soul to Wells Fargo.”
8 November 2018 at 9:05 pm
How about “Take sixteen credits and what do you get,”
That is, drop the first “You”
14 November 2018 at 1:15 am
At the end perhaps ” I earned ME a liberal arts degree and all that got me was bankruptcy” Just for syllablic flow?