First of all, in case some of you were wondering, “totes” is not a word. Well, okay, when used in the sense of, “He totes his piano over to the cliff and drops it,” then yes, it totes is. But it should be obvs that that is not the usage I’m talking about. I’m talking about internet speak, I know some of you think it’s adorbs, but you’re wrong.
Now, my editor, Teresa Nielsen Hayden, hates these things (and, beeteedubs, so do I). So please, make sure that, when tweeting, emailing, or, especially, talking to her, you never ever use them. It would be totes wrong.