The Dream Café

Steven Brust: “A masterful storyteller of contagious glee and self-deprecating badassery” —Skyler White

A Poker Poem

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I think that I shall never love
A play as much as the all-in shove.
When I just smile and hitch my belt
And take myself down to the felt,
Then lean back, say something funny,
Like, “Call this if you don’t like money.”
My opponent weighs my expression bland:
How much does he like his hand?
The mound of chips that I have risen
Puts him to a hard decision.
Unless he is very bold
Or has the nuts, he has to fold.
As the chips fall and scatter
I know position does not matter.
And shoving in those gravid stacks
From now on I can relax
(No one can do worse, you see,
Then what I have just done to me).
Luck is made by God above;
But it takes some balls to call a shove.

corwin

Author: corwin

Site administrative account, so probably Corwin, Felix or DD-B.

0 Comments

  1. Hehe. Nice.

    Inspiration to head to the casino!

  2. Make good decisions. 🙂

  3. I always try.

    You need to come to a con here so we can hit the casino!

    They have some great 2/3 tables at the local casino. Can sit down with no more than 200. I can usually go in and spend 3-4 hours playing on that 200 and consider it a great night out socalizing with strangers. Sometimes you leave up, sometimes you leave down, but the goal is to always leave happy.

  4. I can’t play in real casinos any more. The poker rooms went non-smoking, which takes all the fun out of it.

  5. That’s true. That happened here too. But you can always wait till after your big blind and go out and have a smoke and come back in after.

    It’s pretty common practice for folks to go light one up after a hand.

    As a non-smoker I don’t mind that they made the switch, I come home less bleary eyed. Though it honestly really surprised me. I mean… it’s a casino. Where gambling happens. And drinking. But you can’t smoke? What the hell? Organizations and governments are weird.

  6. They should let you smoke if you attach a tube to the cigarette, cigar, pipe, etc. vis-a-vis the pipes that they use at the car mechanics in the winter months.

  7. Gambling with other people’s health isn’t a game the casino is willing to let you play there.

  8. GWW: Good, bad, right, wrong, I won’t say, but going out to have a smoke is not at all the same as being able to smoke at the table. I’d just be twitchy and irritable. No fun.

  9. Off-topic from where this seems to be going, but…

    I was just thinking last night about all the stories people have about bad beats, how someone made a stupid call and won with a longshot. There is the other side of the story of course — about the person with the great intuition who called a monster hand and beat it when the lowly 7 of diamonds showed.

    Telling the bad beat story may be fun, of a sort, but I always get a kick out of the one who creates the bad beat — even when I’m the one getting beat. Nothing is funnier than doing that to a real poker pro with no sense of humor.

  10. I don’t tell bad beat stories. I will listen to them for $5 a minute. The actual other side of the bad beat story is how the guy went broke when the 7d didn’t show up. The other 98 times out of a hundred.

    “Intuition.” Mmmm. Yes. Let’s you and me play some cards.

  11. Bawerence
    “Gambling with other people’s health isn’t a game the casino is willing to let you play there.”

    So what you are saying is that:

    – A Casino letting a compulsive gambler play on the machines; or

    – A Casino letting a gamblers drink on their premises.

    Is not “gambling with other people’s health”?

    If so then you are implying that excessive gambling and drinking is OK for one’s health, and the health and well being of others close to and around them, but smoking is not.

  12. Lets not get started on the whole smoking rubbish again. It’s a dead horse. I never should have brought up the casino.

    I don’t mind telling and listening to bad beat stories. Everyone has one. I’m sure everyone could write a book about one. Though most of mine aren’t bad beat stories, but annoying loss stories. Like when you have top pair and they have an over pair and they play the hand so well that you’re going to go broke.

    I’m never upset over those hands… but I always remember them.

  13. Actually, I’ve developed a system which, if followed rigorously, will prevent bad beats: Always make sure you’re going in with the worst hand.

    Let me know how it works out for you.

  14. @Schmwarf: I’ve demonstrated that I can speak for myself. ‘What I’m saying’ is simply what I said. The babbling you attempted to assign to me is yours alone. When you don’t have a reasonable rebuttal you create something to oppose and proceed as if that’s the stated opposing viewpoint. It’s fun to watch, but not a particularly compelling argument. If you can do no better, just concede the point and be done with it.

  15. I don’t often like poems but this ones nice.

    Like they couldn’t have smoking rooms…please!

  16. skzb wrote: “‘Intuition.’ Mmmm. Yes. Let’s you and me play some cards.”

    This is why I don’t gamble, I spend money to play cards. On the odd days when I end up or even, it’s pretty fun. No pressure my way. Don’t play like an idiot (I don’t think) ’cause then the play is too short. Just pick the spots to push for fun.

    Too much math the other way.

  17. JP: Ahhh…okay, I can respect that. $X spent on entertainment. The guy who taught me hold ’em denies there are any such people with that attitude, but he’s wrong.

  18. Statistically none, probably fair to say. Still, I’d enjoy a hand or seven with you, bror.

  19. I’m good with that. 🙂

  20. Yeah I kinda go in with that mentality too JP.

    I don’t go to the casino to win money. I go there to have some fun. It’s a form of social interactive entertainment to me.

    When I leave up it’s a nice bonus. When I leave down I consider it money spent for fun, like I do movie tickets.

    I’m a pretty decent player though, not great, but pretty good. So I rarely leave down. I can usually at the very least break even unless I misread someone drastically.

    That’s poker!

  21. You can’t edit your posts… bugger.

    We should have a poker night or something on a gaming site of choice. Do they do arranged tables or events? Like 20 dollar buy in type things? I’ve little experience with the online stuff.

  22. I know it is possible to arrange private tournaments. I don’t know how to go about it, but I know it can be done.

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