One day the sous-chef said to Alton Brown, “Master, how much kosher salt is the right amount for a rib roast?” And Alton Brown said, “Dice two cloves of garlic.” In this moment, the sous-chef achieved enlightenment.
A koan
March 12th, 2008 by skzb · 17 Comments
Tags: Life
17 responses so far ↓
1 Chuck // Mar 12, 2008 at 3:25 pm
garlic often leads to enlightenment.
2 Mad Gastronomer // Mar 12, 2008 at 3:33 pm
The (Professional) Cook’s Mantra: Before enlightenment, mince shallots, clarify butter; after enlightenment, mince shallots, clarify butter.
3 Mad Gastronomer // Mar 12, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Also, garlic is usually minced, crushed or chopped finely rather than diced.
4 scottij // Mar 12, 2008 at 3:36 pm
“Garlic is to food what insanity is to art.”
5 Mad Gastronomer // Mar 12, 2008 at 3:38 pm
…which may, in fact, be part of the point of the koan.
6 Chris Olson // Mar 12, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Alton Brown–Gosh I love that man. The geek references alone would be great, but the geek science is just too cool.
Uh oh, I feel a touch of enlightenment coming on. I must away to dice something. :)
7 Miramon // Mar 12, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Heh, reminds me of the “AI koans” from the old MIT AI lab.
http://www.serve.com/cmtan/buddhism/Lighter/aikoans.html
These are so old they are even before my time. But #3 is still pretty funny.
8 skzb // Mar 12, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Miramon::7::I know those. I love them.
9 Mark // Mar 12, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Pity the disciple’s question wasn’t about ice cream. Then it could be a double-dipped koan.
10 skzb // Mar 12, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Mark::9:: You may now strike yourself.
11 SpeakerToManagers // Mar 12, 2008 at 8:59 pm
The sous-chef should be grateful his enlightenment didn’t have to come from being knocked into a pile of schmalz by the master.
12 Panthyrr // Mar 12, 2008 at 9:31 pm
I adore Alton Brown…
I would let him enlighten me anytime. :)
13 Brad // Mar 12, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Since garlic is sublime, does that make it a citrus?
14 Ben Morris // Mar 13, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Alton Brown is indeed awesome. I bought some girl-scout cookies from him once (he lives near here) he was selling them in front of a Kroger along with several moms and girl scouts.
15 Sherck // Mar 13, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Alton Brown was selling moms and girl scouts?
16 Mad Gastronomer // Mar 14, 2008 at 2:29 am
He has a daughter, maybe it was her troop. She was the bunny his “sister” handed to him in the donut episode.
17 Mudd // Mar 14, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Dicing garlic is the only true way to make round eggs……
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