Category: Steve

My latest chartbuster

The world that we call Mother

One morning at a requirements meet as the coffee break was ending
I got an IM from my buddy Jim and he said I’m not attending.
I’m tired of jobs that are pointless and dull where one’s just like another.
I’m headed for the tangle called Bermuda Triangle toward the world that we call Mother.

In the world that we call Mother there’s a land where the coast goes round.
Tasty contraceptive plants are growing in the ground.
Where the humans are all friendly, and the aliens rarely bite.
Where you can be kissed by an intimiste
And watch the sky while you’re good and high
In the world that we call Mother.

Oh the Gurge and the Gale no courtroom or jail
And you do just what you’d druther.
The drugs are free and the sex is kinky
In the world that we call Mother.

In the world that we call Mother LSD is mixed in vats.
There’s decent public transport, and there are no talking cats.
The internet’s a snap to use and pages load so fast.
I’m bound to where people like to share
Hemp abounds, there’s universal health care.
In the world that we call Mother.

Oh the Gurge and the Gale no courtroom or jail
And you do just what you’d druther.
The drugs are free and the sex is kinky
In the world that we call Mother.

In the world that we call Mother good sex is easy to find.
The nearest thing they have to cops always say, “If you don’t mind.”
The jobs are fun and easy and you pick the one you want.
They have lots of cheese and no STDs
You can park where you like without any fees
In the world that we call Mother.

Oh the Gurge and the Gale no courtroom or jail
And you do just what you’d druther.
The drugs are free and the sex is kinky
In the world that we call Mother.

On the bailout of the US auto makers

Damn, they sure do sound noble, don’t they? “We can’t bail out the auto makers unless they gave us a plan.” Lovely. “They shouldn’t ask the tax payers to pay for their mistakes.” Uh huh. “Look at those executives flying to meet with us in private jets.” Ducky.

Am I missing something? Didn’t they just give a bunch of Wall Street tycoons a trillion bucks? With no plan for how they were to spend it? With no oversight over what happens to it? With nothing to discourage the bankers who caused the problems from keeping–or even raising–their own saleries, with this money coming from taxpayers?

So, what’s the difference (aside from the obvious: Wall Street got a whole lot more than the auto companies are asking for).

OHHHH! I get it. It’s CODE! They’re telling the automakers, and especially the UAW: Get back everything from those damned workers that might give them the illusion they can have a reasonable living standard. They have the nerve to be earning a living wage! Some of them have a form of health care (poor, if you examine it, but still something). And, you know, there are even a few of them whose homes still aren’t in foreclosure, in spite of the best efforts of Wall Street and their own union.

So, yeah, everything Wall Street wants, but if big auto wants help, it damned well better shove those auto workers back down to the level they were at before they were unionized!

I feel all warm and fuzzy about President-elect Obama. Yeah. Right.

Steve

Revisiting an old and whacky theory

Many years ago at Fourth Street, a bunch of us sat around for too many hours and came up with the following theory: From the perspective of society, the function of art* and the function of science are identical; the difference is that the final product of science is a theory, the final product of art is an artifact.

Whenever it comes up, this theory seems to produce interesting discussion, so I am running it up the mixed metaphor to see if the cliche licks it up.

*A somewhat restrictive definition of art; excluding, for example, the performing arts.

–Steve