The Dream Café

Steven Brust: “A masterful storyteller of contagious glee and self-deprecating badassery” —Skyler White

The Devil Went Down To Richfield

| 14 Comments

The devil went down to Richfield
He was looking for a soul to fry
He was in deep shit
His accountant quit
So he headed out to Best Buy

He comes across a young lady
Testing the console games
And the devil quick
Grabs a joystick
Turns and he declaims:

I guess you didn’t know it
But I invented the PS 2
And if you can dance, then take a chance
I’ll make a bet with you.

You play Guitar Hero, girl
But the devil can rock and roll
I’ll bet an Arcade Classics
Upright Machine
If you will bet your soul

The girl said my name’s Jenny
And I may seem a simple lass
But I’ll take you on
And I’ll beat your con
Cuz I’m going to kick your ass

Jenny, grab that interface that looks just like a Strat
Cause there’s nothing to do in Richfield except video combat
And if you win you get the best console in the world
But if you lose you’re in deep shit, girl.

The Devil took the controls in the shape of an old Les Paul
And he rocked it like Keith Richards,
But without any drugs at all.
And he jumped and writhed and hit those frets
and danced upon his hoofs
Yeah he didn’t miss a beat, and his score went through the roof.

When the devil finished, Jenny said, I admit that you’re not bad
But you stand clear by the Nintendo gear
And see that you’ve been had.

Aerosmith to ZZ Top
Through them all she ran
And she finished off with a fiddle piece
By the Charlie Daniels Band

The devil bowed his head and took his loss real hard
But a deal’s a deal so he gave the clerk
His Sulfur Mastercard
Jenny said, Devil, just come on back
If you can pay the toll
Just run and duck, you stupid fuck
I’m the queen of rock n roll

skzb

Author: skzb

I play the drum.

14 Comments

  1. Did…did you lose a bet?

  2. Nice!

  3. We are not worthy!

  4. Well, damn. Now that’s a Thing… 😉

  5. What has been done has been done.
    — Cardinal Armand Jean du Plessis, Duke of Richelieu

  6. skzb

    “It is by my will and for the good of the state that the bearer of this has done what he has done.” — Cardinal Armand Jean du Plessis, Duke of Richelieu

  7. “Never bet what you can’t loose”
    How much is your Pride worth?

  8. Applause. Really liked that.

  9. He does. He does play the drum.

  10. Let me know if you need an extra musician when you go into the studio to record this, ‘k?

  11. Oh now that’s a good idea!

  12. I ❤️ this.

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