The Dream Café

Steven Brust: “A masterful storyteller of contagious glee and self-deprecating badassery” —Skyler White

An Old LJ Post: The Drug-Allergic Invalid

| 7 Comments

Apparently LiveJournal is going weird, and everyone’s diving off it and saving their posts.  I don’t have a great deal from my old LJ days that I want to save, but this post, from 18-December-2006, needs to be preserved in the annals of, uh, whatever annals one preserves such things in.

Back from the doctor

The doctor says my symptoms are absolutely classic for having a bad drug reaction. She even showed me off to another doctor as having perfect symptoms. I was very proud.

I am the very model of a drug allergic invalid
With bright red rashes from my feet that make their way up to my head
I have no wish for food or wine or sexual amenities
I only wish to stop the swelling up of my extremities

My hands are swollen up so much I cannot hold a cigarette
How many days this will go is more than I can figure yet.
When I shuffle down the hall like a weak septuagenarian,
You’d say I was within a couple days of set for buryin’

You’d say he was within a couple days of set for buryin’
You’d say he was within a couple days of set for buryin’
You’d say he was within a couple days of set for buryburyin’

When you see I can do nothing except watch reruns of “Drag-a-net”
While choking down the steroids and the Benedryl and Tagamet
When it takes me seven minutes to get from my desk down to my bed
You’d see I was the model of a drug allergic invalid

When it takes him seven minutes to get from his desk down to his bed
You’d see he was the model of a drug allergic invalid

I began taking Sulfa on November 27. My glands became swollen on Dec. 7. On the 8th I started developing a rash. That’s when I stopped taking the sulfa. On the 12th, the fever hit, and lasted 2 days, peaking at 102. Around that time, my glands were no longer swollen, but I had some muscle ache. On the 15th, my hands and feet started swelling. Naturally, it was Friday, so I couldn’t go in to see the doctor until today. The swelling has gotten worse since then. I was prescribed steroids, and told to continue taking the Benedryl and Tagamet.

I search the internet for lists of symptoms and the latest memes
That deal with how to make my body stop producing histamines.
When I see my body is now just a single toxic whole
It makes me wish I’d never even heard “Sulfamethoxazole.”

When I cannot stand up without assistance or good leverage
When my lips are so puffed up that I cannot drink hot beverage
In short with the swelling and the rashes my the skin so red
I am the very model of a drug allergic invalid.

In short with the swelling and the rashes on his skin so red
He is the very model of drug allergic invalid.


skzb

Author: skzb

I play the drum.

7 Comments

  1. I love Gilbert & Sullivan! Bravo, Steve, sorry for the suffering, but the verse is great.

  2. The things we do for art.

  3. It has a nice beat but can you dance to it?

  4. We can, although he can’t.

  5. Welll worth saving, for posterity or whatever.

  6. You are the Writer King!
    And it is, it is a glorious thing
    To be a Writer King!

Leave a Reply