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Oh, Look! A New Presidential Bid!

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Educator Jane Smith announced her candidacy  for president on Wednesday, making her the latest to seek the Democratic Party nomination.  In a well-attended speech delivered at Antioch College, where she is the chair of the Alternate History department, she stated that as President, her primary focus would be on a more even distribution of wealth among the top 5%. In her speech, she promised to carry on a fight for greater equality among those who benefit from war and poverty.  “We, as a nation, do an outstanding job of slaughtering civilians for oil profits, and yet who gets those profits? A tiny clique of people that includes very few tenured educators.”

“It is unfair,” she went on to say, “and in conflict with all of the values of our great nation, that only the privileged few reap the benefits of our brutal exploitation of the poor and the working class.”

In the question period that followed, she was asked about her position on the militarization of the police, and the police killings of poor, primarily African-American youths. “Well of course,” she said, “it is important to have a strong police force to make certain those we are draining money from are too frightened to do anything about it, but the important question is, when we drain that money, who gets it? It is outrageous that so many of the wealthy are asked to support police murder while gaining only a tiny fraction of what is available to be raked up.”

She pointed out that, of those who are becoming rich off the Detroit bankruptcy, nearly all of them are white and male. “What is the point of cutting off water for tens of thousands of people if the profits are not evenly divided among all of the elite?”

“If elected,” she concluded, “I will see to it that everyone ground into the dirt by the profit system will have the satisfaction of knowing his or her sacrifice benefits all of the wealthy equally.”

skzb

Author: skzb

I play the drum.

8 Comments

  1. That sounds like “The Onion.” Why should the .01% want to share with those paupers in the top 5%?

  2. Ben, I love that when I clicked on that link, it came with a Tommy Hilfiger ad.

  3. Every time I read comments from a US presidential hopeful, a little piece of me dies. I have been listening to the Revolutions podcast by Mike Duncan. He believes that at the moment that those in power have a choice about what to do with the inequality of wealth distribution but if they don’t do anything soon, that choice will be taken away from them.

  4. She’s got my vote as long as I am in her department!

  5. I….have no words. Well, I do, but they’re profane. How much moral numbness does a person have to go through before they’re considered a candidate? It makes me wonder if the Plutocracy even notices that there are other people in this country.

  6. I suspect the Plutocracy does notice our general existence. But primarily as uppity inconveniences to them or as filthy beggers. We don’t make way for them or tip our caps like we should when an obvious superior goes by. Some of us drive nice cars and have good teeth. Those things should be reserved for the moneyed classes. But they are actively working to rectify these problems.

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