The Old Double-nerd Flag

It’s rare to have a chance to fly both my filk-nerd flag and my gaming-nerd flag at the same time, so how can I pass it up? In the table-top campaign Jenphalian is running, we were told we needed to sing for our supper, and given a few weeks to come up with a song.  This is mine.  If you are so culturally deprived that you can’t deduce the tune, you can embarrass yourself by asking and I’ll tell you.  Also, just for clarification, I’ve marked with an asterisk the stuff that is specific to that campaign and thus might not make sense.

Sevri [spoken, to Almoni]: …and then we’ll have a mock duel to get his lordship’s attention, and then he’ll ask me to swear loyalty, and—

Dorian [spoken]: The quest is where you belong!

[start music]

Dorian [spoken]:  Sevri, listen to me. The world of the nobility and the peasants, it’s boring. Life on the quest is better than being stuck here with some aristocrat.

Dorian: The gold piece is always brighter in somebody else’s purse.
But swearing in as a fighter, you’ll find out it’s just a curse.
There’s all of this loot we stare at, and it’s either us or them.
The snowmen* each have a carrot: the unit of weight of gems!

Out on the quest Out on the quest
Sneaking and hiding, or running and riding two abreast
It’s just dull at hearth and hall,
We like a good old dungeon crawl.
Once we get going we’re all saving throwing
Out on the quest.

The rogue on the quest does service, he’s glad to be out of town.
The rogue off the quest is nervous, who knows who might track him down?
But once in the fight we manage, we’re fine though they say we’re nuts.
If we get some minor damage,
Aelwyd: Guess who has to heal your butts.

Dorian: Out on the quest, Out on the quest
Though skeletons face you at least they won’t place you under arrest.
Maybe we die some here and there, but we’re not bored so we don’t care.
We do our duty and pick up more booty out on the quest.

Out on the quest.
Combat’s a must here, parry and thrust here, you’ll be impressed.
Even the paladin and the mage, they get that old berserker rage.
Happy to slay ’em. We got the mayhem out on the quest.

The monk is a punk, the vamp is a champ.
The knight is all right his helmet’s a lamp.*
The ranger’s a danger, tanks get our thanks
The fin’s going in the soup.* (yum)
The barb in his garb can hit pretty deep.
Assassin is hiding Can’t see him creep.
The wiz knows his biz, the priest never ceased
And watch that archer shooooot.

Out on the quest Out on the quest
Whenever we seize phylacteries it’s just the best!
What have they got? A lot of hicks. We get to roll our 3D6
Every dual wielder is a damage dealer out on the quest.
Each druid shaman does element bombin’ out on the quest.
Each sword and boarder going in order
Though we give a sob for Paladin Bob*
It’s courage we measure when counting the treasure
Out on the quest!

Last, click here if you want the performance.