Category: Texas Wisdom

Billy-Bob Gautama said to the student, “To understand reality, we must drop mind and body.  Corn liquor works for both.”  The student said, “But Goat, didn’t you say yesterday that drinking doesn’t lead to truth, but should be done for it’s own sake?”  Billy-Bob hit the student with the short staff named Hank.  The student was Enlightened.

One day a thief broke into Billy-Bob Gautama’s house, only to discover there was nothing to steal.  Billy-Bob returned and caught him and said, “Friend, I’m sorry I have nothing.  But you shouldn’t leave empty handed, so at least take a drink of this corn liquor.”  The thief gratefully drank the corn liquor, and continued drinking until he passed out.  Then Billy-Bob dragged him out of the house, took his clothes, shaved his head, and had his coon hound urinate on him.   It is not known if the thief was Enlightened.

The Four Virtues:

1. Eternity:  Your truck will last a long time if you take good care of it.

2. Joy: It’s fun to get drunk with Wasted Willie Borgess.

3. Personality: The couch sitting on your front porch doesn’t look like the couch sitting on anyone else’s front porch.

4. Assurance: Never let ’em know they got to you.

Billy-Bob Gautama

“Drinking to excess is no path to spiritual Truth.  Drinking to excess must be done for it’s own sake.”

Billy-Bob Gautama

As a very young man, Billy-Bob Gautama once went out drinking with Wasted Willie Borgess.  As they were drinking, Billy-Bob said, “Willy, is there any meaning to life?” Willie threw up on Billy-Bob’s shirt.  It was in this way that Billy-Bob achieved Enlightenment.