Texas Wisdom #66

A great zen teacher came up to Billy-Bob Gautama and said, “I know that today is your birthday, thus I intend to give you a gift.  I give you greatest gift there is: nothing.”  Billy-Bob said, “And the greatest state of the mind is thoughtlessness,” then he hit the teacher over the head with the short staff named Hank.  “Thank you,” said the teacher, having thus received enlightenment.

Texas Wisdom #63

A student approached Billy-Bob Gautama and said, “Goat, did you ever think about getting married?”  “Thought about it,” said Billy-Bob.  “Well,” said the student, “how come you didn’t do it?”  “It’s like this,” said Billy-Bob.  “The first woman I thought about marrying was pretty as a prairie sunset, but turned out she was meaner than a snake.  Next woman I thought about was kind and gentle, but we never had anything to talk about.  Next woman was someone I could talk to all day, but she had no sense of humor.  Then, in Bastrop, I met a woman who was funny, smart, pretty, good to talk to, and sweet as the summer is hot.  Yessir, she was the perfect woman.”  “So,” said the student.  “Why didn’t you marry her?”  “Well,” said Billy-Bob, “turned out she was looking for the perfect man.”