The Dream Café

Steven Brust: “A masterful storyteller of contagious glee and self-deprecating badassery” —Skyler White



I want to make it clear that this is NOT MY FAULT.  My friend @Jenphalian held a gun to my head and MADE me do this.  AGAINST MY WILL.

Anyway, there’s a new, um, thing on my homepage, available for free download.  Any complaints should be addressed to her.




Author: corwin

Site administrative account, so probably Corwin, Felix or DD-B.


  1. Having trouble feeling shame for this.


    I think you ought to consider reading it at upcoming cons, actually.

  2. @jenphalian: Oh my god!

  3. Have I ever told you you are my favorite author?

    Also: More

  4. Davia: Aww, shucks.

  5. That was tremendously awful in the best possible way! And you should _definitely_ read it at cons.

  6. I’ve just sat here laughing out loud while reading that – thank you.

  7. What they all said, but I have to add: hot interHouse action.

  8. Truly entertaining. 😉 thank you both.

  9. @Jenphalian – Genius (caution: I might be biased)

    @skzb – also genius (but would not read at cons)

  10. I say screw reader expectations and read this at a con.

    Also, thanks @Jenphalian for making him post this. It made my morning.

  11. Reading this = much better than the editing I should be doing!

    Also, I agree with Davia’s comment 🙂 🙂 🙂

  12. Clearly, he can’t make it as a porn writer. I mean, look at how he neglected to mention the origins of the sensitivity of skin, and failed to compare the arousal of a Lyorn with that of a Dzur, and go on to contrast them with those of other houses. These literary types are just too obsessed with brevity to do the subject justice.

  13. can’t. stop. giggling.

    Thank you for this, and I (I have, I fear, lost track of the number, though I know for certain I do not second it, I cannot, in good faith, be more precise), but I also express the hope you shall read it at future cons.

  14. Emma: I know, right?

  15. I understand now why the Empress has taken an Easterner as a lover.

  16. Yay enphalian! Make skzb do more! Preen Away!

  17. Towards the end, I reached the tentative conclusion that Paarfi was becoming distracted by something, and the dialogue he records is no more than a sketch of events.

  18. That was delightfully terrible! It was everything that I dreamed it would be. Thank you.

  19. Up next, Paarfi’s new work: Fifty Shades of Dragaera!

    jenphalian: I’ve not met you, but I like you. Thanks for insisting!

    Steve: You wrong! (In all the right ways) See you in a few days!

  20. ChrisO: Surely it would first be 17 Shades of Grey? 😉

  21. Chris B. – I stand corrected, for verily it would be Seventeen Shades of Dragaera. Quite right!

  22. That was hotter than I expected, in a het, vanilla sort of way. I suppose it’s a little ‘kinky’ in the mixed-house aspect, but that’s not my kink 🙂

  23. Oh, come on, are we missing the obvious joke? Seventeen Shades of Black and Grey? 😉

  24. Fifty One Shades of Grey? With a prologue and an Afterword? Or should that be with three of each?

  25. Oh. Well. I say.

  26. You guys are fantastic. Absolutely made my day.

  27. That was so delightfully bad, I’m almost hoping for Paarfi to write some more!

  28. I’m with Emma… I was cringing with what I was certain was going to be a far more “wordy” dialog. While it was definitely Paarfi, he did not do the subject adequate justice. In fact, I was convinced he’d be so caught up in the dialog that they’d never consummate.
    I admit I was quite relieved that they did though, and enjoyed it thoroughly, thank you!

  29. Absolutely Hilarious!! and yet…..reading it w/proper female accomplice at ComicCon would be a true highlight……

  30. I’ve been searching your site for the link so I can read this story, but I’ve had no luck. Is it no longer available?

  31. skzb

    Temporarily down, Valerie, but it should be back up soon. Thanks for asking, and sorry for the delay.

  32. Thanks for posting the links.
    One word: FANTASTIC!

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