Forthcoming Vlad Books

Steve has been asked more and more what he’s going to do once he’s finished the Vlad stories, but he’ll never tell. I, however, have the secret insider knowledge of what cometh next. I think the fans deserve to know. So don’t tell skzb, but I’m going to reveal to you the general outline for the sequel cycle.

—Your obedient servant,
J. Phalian
sQuirrelCo Textbenders, Inc.

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Jhereggeddon — Vlad must assassinate his biggest target yet: an asteroid.

2 Yendi 2 Furious — Carriage racing makes a comeback on the streets of Adrilankha but no one could have known the political consequences!

Teckla of Dreams — If you build a robust urban society, hardy but cheerful members of the peasant underclass will come.

Taltos Family Values — They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky. They’re altogether hard-bitten assassins… the Taltos Family.

Phoenix 2: The Empire Strikes Back — Vlad survives a frozen wasteland, trains his witch powers in a swamp, then finds out who his father really is.

The Athyras of Eastwick — Vlad grants the wishes of three single ladies of the Athyra. Hijinx ensue. Then he kills them.

Orca 2 — Vlad uncovers a deep-laid conspiracy to evade imperial taxes on vast amounts of wealth, but breaks it wide open using postage laws.

How to Train Your Dragonlord — Teenage Vlad has a charming coming-of-age story, co-starring a large floppy black kitty. He defeats the House of the Dragon, brings peace to the village, and actually kisses a suitable romantic partner, for real.

Mrs. Doubtssola — HELLLLLLOOOOOOO! Vlad hides from the Left Hand in the last place they’ll expect: as a lady nanny for his own son.

Mrs Doubtissola 2

Dzur Hard With a Vengeance — The Dzur do some Dzuring around Dzurtown and things just might get Dzurtabulous!

Jhegaala 2 — Consists of three books written at once in collaboration with another Steve, accompanied by four wide-release feature films, following Vlad’s adventures on an alien world where he discovers a society where everyone is taller than him and also blue-skinned.

Legally Iorich 2: Red, White, and Blonde — Vlad becomes a voice for the voiceless when he helps an Iorich friend save cute dogs from cruelty.

Tiassas of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 — Vlad and friends have a psychedelic adventure in far-flung regions of space. They steal a guy’s prosthetic eye. Vlad finally finds out who his father is, again.

The Wrath of Hawk — A mysterious Hawklord that Vlad previously defeated turns up again wearing a cool barbarian space vest and puts creepy mind-control worms into everyone’s ears. Vlad has been, and always shall be, your friend.

Pride and Prejudice and Vallista — Vlad teams up with Lizzy Bennett to fight a new foe: architects gone mad with power. Meanwhile, Vlad’s sisters are excited about the marital prospects offered by the new tenants of the mansion overlooking the ocean-sea.

Tsalmoth 2: Electric Boogaloo — Vlad competes in the dance-off sequel we deserve and finds out who his father really actually totally is, for real. Jesus tap-dancing Christ.

26 thoughts on “Forthcoming Vlad Books”

  1. Nearly every one of these dynamic sequals is going to be a cool $300,000,000 at the box office. Where is skzb going to spend all that loot?

    Architects mad with power could really raise cain.

  2. Now you’ve done it. You have totally mind-blasted what little was left of my mind.

  3. What is the expected publication date for Romany: the revised and totally politically-correct Gypsy?

  4. That’s horrible. I love it!

    And after clicking SUBMIT (or whatever it’s labeled), I got for a second or less a flash of something like
    WARNING
    xxx expects a parameter value of…

    Huh?

  5. I’m looking forward to “The Wizard of Adrilankha,” which starts with Vlad dropping Castle Morrolan on top of Verra, and ends when Vlad wakes up in the East, the entire book series having been a dream.

  6. You left off Taltos’ 17: Wherein Vlad must assemble a rag-tag team of con-men and misfits (aka his usual crew) in order to rob the vault of The Demon’s biggest gambling house in Candletown. Can he both pull off the caper and win back his estranged wife in the process? Or is he destined for another stint in the Imperial Dungeons?

  7. So much about Dragaerans, though. I hope skzb gives us the diverse representation that was on offer in his pitch for _The Good, the Bad, and the Easterners_, in which Vlad and Laszló cross the Eastern Plains while repeatedly attempting to murder each other.

  8. I’m looking forward to the indie great Alex Cox’s masterpiece, Vlad and Cawti, profiling Vlad’s teenage years as the drug addled bass player in the Adrilankha punk scene and his loudmouthed girlfriend Cawti who teaches him to love- and sink a blade in all the right places.

  9. I think you missed the rumored novel in which Our Hero commandeers a secret naval protoype underwater vessel that is armed to the teeth with sorcerous devices, and is hunted by both the Empire and the Lords of Judgement.

    It’s called “The Hunt for Red Month of the Orca”.

    It takes place near Vlad-ivostok.

    …I’m not sorry. Not even a little.

  10. … @jenphalian, I love you for this post. So bad it’s good.

    Unfortunately, outside of dreamcafe.com I don’t have many other friends who read @skzb’s books. So I don’t have many to share this treasure with.

  11. Sadly, the genre-busting movie project “Paarfis of the Caribbean” is on hold due to the actors playing the piratical clones of Paarfi not being capable of memorizing lines that extend over several dozen pages. The screenplay has also been criticized as potentially overlong, clocking in at approximately 120.000 pages, even though the number of individual lines is actually close to average.

    Thankfully, puzzle game adaptation The Taltos Principle is still on track. And DZUR: THE ENERGY DRINK is coming to stores any day now.

  12. Hmm… As an alternative to The Good The Bad and The Easterner:

    Vlad follows a lead on another Great Weapon into the desert. Barlen, having had enough of the Easterner’s impudence confronts him about custody of the weapon while Sethra’s long-suffering manservant finally makes his move…

    Call it The God, The Vlad and The Tukko

  13. Or the musical “Morrolan the Headless Thompson Gunner” from the upcoming Warren Zoltan album “Excitable Easterner”?

    …okay, I’m really reaching. I’ll be good now.

    Mostly.

  14. @Mark Engelhart You win. You most certainly win.

    “HEY WHISKERS! You know what you are! Just a dirty son of a BRUUUU–”

    (cue Hugo Montenegro)

  15. I thought this might be the best place to ask…any current plans on releasing something like “The Book of Iorich” containing Iorich and Tiassa like the other collections?

  16. How about “The Dragaeran, the Witch, and the Dzur Robe,” in which Vlad and friends are transported to an alternate world in which…

    Okay, forget I said anything.

    “The Teckla Games,” in which Teckla have to come up with Tribute to fight for…

    Right. I’ll stop now.

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