From: [me]
To: Indiegogo <support@indiegogo.com>
Subject: Re: Update Your Indiegogo Campaign
I am terribly concerned at what you tell me. I wonder if I might ask for your help. As I do not have an Indiegogo campaign, and therefore do not have any contributors, I am at a loss for how best to reassure them.
I have often been aware of my inadequacy when it comes to finding the right words for troubled friends: to decide just how to tell them that things are fine, or aren’t as bad as they seem, or, at least, that I am here for them. Finding these words for strangers is even harder, and finding them for strangers who do not exist presents a whole new level of difficulty.
Could you, perhaps, consider inventing some of these people, and then letting me know what they are like as human beings? Perhaps that way, I can use my fiction writing experience to find the right words. If you think it necessary to first invent a campaign I am fine with that, and only hope that it is for something I would enjoy.
I also wish to express my admiration for what you have accomplished. The notion of people “reaching out” from beyond the grave is well established, at least among fantasy writers, con artists, ecclesiastics, and other members of the profession; reaching out from non-existence is something entirely new, and you should feel proud of creating a platform that permits it.
Thank you again for taking the trouble to let me know about these concerns.
Warm regards,
Steven Brust
I also got one of these emails. I briefly debated doing what you did but wouldn’t have done it with nearly as much panache.
Funny. I got the same e-mail today. If yoiu know of some crowdfunding campaign seeking to make me wealth (or even barely solvent, will you please let me know?
Base Racial Final Modifier
STR: 12 0 12 +1
INT: 6 0 6 -2
WIS: 18 +2 20 +5
DEX: 11 0 11 0
CON: 13 0 13 +1
CHA: 10 0 10 0
Rolls: 16,15,11,10,10,8
Class: Cleric
Race: Human
Hi, my name is Tarkelion and I am an indiegogo supporter of Steve the Brust, Lord of the Clackity Clacks. As a cleric, the Brust is my patron God, which is ironic because I also am a Patreon supporter of his as well.
I have heard legends from the higher clerics in my order that the Lord Steve sits in front of the Clackity Clacks for many hours a day, face bathed in its white-blue glow, while his fingers race over the Characters of Fate, producing destinies like a mortal such as myself might produce a cup of klava.
I pray unto Steve the Clacker that he Clacks like no other being has ever Clacked before, and that my lowly offering may produce favour in His Sight, Amen.
Now I feel left out! Was it something I said?
I just wrote back, “I’m unaware of any campaign I’m funding,” which allowed me 30 minutes more to work on my book. Not expecting an answer.
Did you look at any links (Don’t click!)? This seems like a phishing attempt.
No, apparently a lot of people have gotten this, and many of them have gotten “oops” emails from indiegogo. Also, there were no links in the email.
Vlad + Indie(ana Jones) + Gogo (boots) = more therapy thanks to the disturbing imagery evoked. Maybe I can crowdfund the bill?
I know! You could start an IndieGogo campaign to fund the invention of your IndieGoGo supporters! Because I don’t think IndieGoGo will do it right. It’s not their field of expertise. You’ll end up with two-dimensional supporters, and they are even harder to reassure than imaginary ones.
P.
Oh, great idea! Or, even better, I’ll fund the creation of the IndieGoGo supporters with Kickstarter!
Somewhere a GoFundMe campaign just got three imaginary donations because of this thread.