The Dream Café

Steven Brust: “A masterful storyteller of contagious glee and self-deprecating badassery” —Skyler White

Been Watching “Borgia: Fear and Loathing”


…or whatever it’s called.

How will you feel when I break you on the wheel?
It’s only fuss and bother when they call me holy father
I’m the pope, I’m the pope, I’m the motherfucking pope.
I’ll leave you in the lurch cuz I’m cleaning up the church
I do a couple lines, drink some sacramental wine
Cuz I’m the pope, I’m the pope, I’m the motherfucking pope.
I love them all to pieces all my nephews and my nieces
And if I come to hate ’em I just excommunicate ’em
I’m the pope I’m the pope I’m the motherfucking pope.


Author: skzb

I play the drum.


  1. Welp, yeah, that’s pretty much that show.

  2. Of course, I realize too late that it ought to be “we’re the Pope etc”.

  3. My duty from the fates is to unite the Papal States
    When they’re all loyal to me, then I’ll start saying “we”
    Cuz I’m the pope, I’m the pope, I’m the motherfucking pope.

  4. Et tu? Now only Sabbatini is left to defend …

  5. Approaching Tim Minchin…

  6. I loved your poem! It is twisted and completely accurate!

  7. Heh heh & yum yum! This is begging to be sung. May I post the link or the text to a filk venue or 2?

  8. That big semicircular space above the front door(s) of Romanesque churches & cathedrals is called a tympanum. They’re frequently decorated with elaborate depictions of the Last Judgement, complete with demons leading damned souls into a hellmouth.

    Q. What does it mean if the damned don’t include figures wearing the distinctive headgear of high churchmen, from bishops’ miters to the triple crown of the Pope himself?

    A. It means the damned are being depicted naked — and even then, some of them will be sporting very visible tonsures.

    Protestants and atheists are johnny-come-latelies to criticizing the clergy.

  9. skzb

    Teresa: Have you been watching the show? What do think of it; I’d be curious. I have the impression that they’re taking as true some questionable history, but, like “Rome,” they get a whole lot of things right.

    P.S.: When I was asking about it, I didn’t mean this, I meant that thing I emailed you.

Leave a Reply