The Dream Café

Steven Brust: “A masterful storyteller of contagious glee and self-deprecating badassery” —Skyler White

My Little Jhereg


Sometimes you make an offhand remark on Twitter, and the next thing you know, your mind is filled with horrific images that will haunt you until every second becomes nothing more than a waking torment and you long for the release of death, which release is denied you, and so you can only go on and on, plunging deeper into despair, each step a new vision of Hell unfolding before you, the agony compounded by your awareness that it is deserved, that your own crimes have brought you to this place.   Know what I mean?  I’m sure you’ve been there.

At this point, your only recourse–your only recourse–is to reduce your pain in some small measure by inflicting it on random, innocent strangers.  Like so:

Lyrics for the MY LITTLE JHEREG: ASSASSINATION IS MAGIC theme song. (by Scott Lynch)

My Little Jhereg art by @thegreatwren

art by @thegreatwren

ETA: Then sometimes Steve learns about why he shouldn’t give wicked people like me access to edit things. Oh sure, light proofreading! Fix some typos, insert links, all well and good. I expect to have any such privileges revoked shortly after pressing the update button on this post. TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Now, for the amusement and wonderment of all, @Obsidian_Dragon has drawn Loiosh with a dead teckla cutie mark. (Two versions, since someone complained about the canonical number of legs.)

loish-cutie-mark1 loiosh-cutie-mark2

Fandom is magic.



Author: skzb

I play the drum.


  1. I was warned, and I failed to heed that warning. My soul is now a shattered wreck, flayed raw and quivering, and I shall never be whole again.

  2. I guess your fanfic policy doesn’t work as a safeword.

  3. AUGH. Why do I have a sudden urge to draw Loiosh with a cutie mark? Help.

  4. Oooh! Oooh! Do it! I’ll personally deface this entry with it if you do.

  5. HELP I can’t decide what the cutie mark should be. I can’t really draw “sarcasm” very well.

  6. It should be a Hawk, of course.

  7. OK. We have entered an entirely new circle of Hell here. One full of very talented, and very demented people. To stay or not to stay, that is the question.

  8. skzb

    Cynthia: It’s too late for me, save yourself.

  9. I think the only possible reply is “Shut up, Loiosh!”

    Which seems to work about as well as it ever does.

  10. It’s proven: I will do ANYTHING other than write my own novel, including perfecting my dead teckla drawing skills for dubious “fan art”.

  11. Oh my. Yes! I want one. Please, make a toy version of My Little Jhereg, someone, please.

  12. I have done a Particle link to Chibi Sauron, just to make myself feel better about this.

  13. The forks in the eyes, they do nothing!

  14. hmmmm… does that make us Loiosh fans “brhoregs”? ;p

  15. T-shirt NOW. In several styles. I’ll be ordering two.

  16. MikeyO

    I’m with you on the forks; the only thing that works for me is singing ‘You’re a Detour on the Highway to Heaven’ very loudly…

  17. Oh god, my students are going to hear me sing this now. It’s on your head! (and in mine).

  18. skzb

    Obsidian Dragon: And just when I thought I had fully grasped Evil and Torment.

  19. Order today and get “My Little Jhereg” with secret, hidden poison compartment, complete with vial of poison! Call TODAY while supplies last!

  20. skzb

    That is just so WRONG. This whole thing started wrong, and is now getting wronger.

  21. Emma – the tshirt probably can’t happen. Too many copyright things. Great sadness falls across the land.

  22. ~sighs~ Thus ends my dream of a home decorated entirely in My Little Jhereg® collectibles.

  23. OK, so, gosh, my phone camera sucks a lot, but I hope you can make out SOME detail in these.

    My Little Aliera: She’s using her wings to look taller. And there’s a little compass on her flank.

    My Little Morollan: He’s got a magic wand and it’s black.

  24. skzb

    Lord, I’m ready now. Bring me home.

  25. Although I’m not sure the image could be blown up to a useable size without becoming distractingly pixelated, I’m bummed that there will be no t-shirts, tote bags, or little baby onesies…

  26. Herm inspired me. Back to my sketch book!

  27. Again – all I can say is “cute”

  28. My Little Morrolan comes with the My Little Flying Castle of course, with 1,000 My Little Witches in the basement and a My Little Teldra to welcome your my Little Whatever You Likes to the party.

  29. you could still make a t-shirt useing the iron on paper things they sell sometimes . you just reverse the image print it out on some kind of special paper and iron it onto a white shirt.

  30. I guess I’m unlucky. I don’t know the original, and
    “This video is unavailable.
    Sorry about that.”

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