My Little Jhereg

Sometimes you make an offhand remark on Twitter, and the next thing you know, your mind is filled with horrific images that will haunt you until every second becomes nothing more than a waking torment and you long for the release of death, which release is denied you, and so you can only go on and on, plunging deeper into despair, each step a new vision of Hell unfolding before you, the agony compounded by your awareness that it is deserved, that your own crimes have brought you to this place.   Know what I mean?  I’m sure you’ve been there.

At this point, your only recourse–your only recourse–is to reduce your pain in some small measure by inflicting it on random, innocent strangers.  Like so:

Lyrics for the MY LITTLE JHEREG: ASSASSINATION IS MAGIC theme song. (by Scott Lynch)

My Little Jhereg art by @thegreatwren

art by @thegreatwren

ETA: Then sometimes Steve learns about why he shouldn’t give wicked people like me access to edit things. Oh sure, light proofreading! Fix some typos, insert links, all well and good. I expect to have any such privileges revoked shortly after pressing the update button on this post. TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Now, for the amusement and wonderment of all, @Obsidian_Dragon has drawn Loiosh with a dead teckla cutie mark. (Two versions, since someone complained about the canonical number of legs.)

loish-cutie-mark1 loiosh-cutie-mark2

Fandom is magic.


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I play the drum.

34 thoughts on “My Little Jhereg”

  1. I was warned, and I failed to heed that warning. My soul is now a shattered wreck, flayed raw and quivering, and I shall never be whole again.

  2. OK. We have entered an entirely new circle of Hell here. One full of very talented, and very demented people. To stay or not to stay, that is the question.

  3. I think the only possible reply is “Shut up, Loiosh!”

    Which seems to work about as well as it ever does.

  4. MikeyO

    I’m with you on the forks; the only thing that works for me is singing ‘You’re a Detour on the Highway to Heaven’ very loudly…

  5. Oh god, my students are going to hear me sing this now. It’s on your head! (and in mine).

  6. Order today and get “My Little Jhereg” with secret, hidden poison compartment, complete with vial of poison! Call TODAY while supplies last!

  7. ~sighs~ Thus ends my dream of a home decorated entirely in My Little Jhereg® collectibles.

  8. Although I’m not sure the image could be blown up to a useable size without becoming distractingly pixelated, I’m bummed that there will be no t-shirts, tote bags, or little baby onesies…

  9. My Little Morrolan comes with the My Little Flying Castle of course, with 1,000 My Little Witches in the basement and a My Little Teldra to welcome your my Little Whatever You Likes to the party.

  10. you could still make a t-shirt useing the iron on paper things they sell sometimes . you just reverse the image print it out on some kind of special paper and iron it onto a white shirt.

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