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Texas Wisdom #69

skzb — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:53:52 +0000

One day Chipmonk Joe and Billy-Bob Gautama were sitting around talking. The subject of Wasted Willie Borgess came up. Joe said, “He’s a fucking asshole.” “Now Chip,” said Billy-Bob, “that’s no way to talk. You talk about someone like that, the only harm it does is to you.” “Okay, Goat,” said Joe, “what do YOU think of him?” “Oh, me?” said Billy-Bob. “Why, I think he’s a fucking asshole, bless his heart.”

Texas Wisdom #68

skzb — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:14:41 +0000

One day Sam Puckett was hanging out with Billy-Bob Gautama, sitting around drinking beers. Sam turned on the TV and started flipping channels. “What’s on?” said Billy-Bob. “Nothin’,” said Sam. “Good,” said Billy-Bob. “Let’s watch that.”

Texas Wisdom #67

skzb — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:48:19 +0000

“There’s lots of parables about a poor man learning to be content to be poor. That’s cuz most of ‘em were made up by rich folk who were content to be rich.”

– Billy-Bob Gautama

Texas Wisdom #66

skzb — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:39:30 +0000

A great zen teacher came up to Billy-Bob Gautama and said, “I know that today is your birthday, thus I intend to give you a gift. I give you greatest gift there is: nothing.” Billy-Bob said, “And the greatest state of the mind is thoughtlessness,” then he hit the teacher over the head with the short staff named Hank. “Thank you,” said the teacher, having thus received enlightenment.

Texas Wisdom #65

skzb — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:15:08 +0000

“Care for your truck as if it’ll last a hundred years. Drive it as if it’ll break down tomorrow.”

– Billy-Bob Gautama

Texas Wisdom #64

skzb — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 11:46:26 +0000

“The journey is the destination. As long as you ain’t goin’ nowheres in particular.”

– Billy-Bob Gautama

Texas Wisdom #63

skzb — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:23:57 +0000

A student approached Billy-Bob Gautama and said, “Goat, did you ever think about getting married?” “Thought about it,” said Billy-Bob. “Well,” said the student, “how come you didn’t do it?” “It’s like this,” said Billy-Bob. “The first woman I thought about marrying was pretty as a prairie sunset, but turned out she was meaner than a snake. Next woman I thought about was kind and gentle, but we never had anything to talk about. Next woman was someone I could talk to all day, but she had no sense of humor. Then, in Bastrop, I met a woman who was funny, smart, pretty, good to talk to, and sweet as the summer is hot. Yessir, she was the perfect woman.” “So,” said the student. “Why didn’t you marry her?” “Well,” said Billy-Bob, “turned out she was looking for the perfect man.”

Texas Wisdom #62

skzb — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 04:41:26 +0000

“It takes a big man to admit he’s wrong. It takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”

– Billy-Bob Gautama

Texas Wisdom #61

skzb — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 05:13:20 +0000

“You will feel the truth within you. Unless it’s just Annabelle’s suet pudding.”

– Billy-Bob Gautama

Texas Wisdom #60

skzb — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:45:50 +0000

“From the broken pickup grows a usable induction coil.”

– Billy-Bob Gautama