The other day I was listening to a movie review on NPR. I don’t know what the movie was, but the reviewer, in the course of panning it, explained that some secondary characters, however good, just don’t make good leads. He said, “Some really terrific supporting players maybe aren’t cut out to be stars. A ‘Romeo and Juliet’ spinoff called Mercutio and the Nurse wouldn’t cut it.”
WHAT???? Like Hell it wouldn’t!
I want to see it! Pamela? Want to write for TV?
25 responses so far ↓
1 Kee // Jun 6, 2010 at 6:31 am
Clearly, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were never cut out to be stars. There’s nothing compelling about them at all. Somebody call Tom Stoppard!
2 beadslut // Jun 6, 2010 at 8:13 am
The gravediggers in Hamlet should have their own film, too. You and Pamela should get right on that. Really.
3 will shetterly // Jun 6, 2010 at 8:41 am
I heard or read that too. And thought what you did.
Also, you’d get more Tybalt that way. For the win!
4 MikeS // Jun 6, 2010 at 9:47 am
I also would have responded with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, but reviewer did say, “some” aren’t cut out to be stars. So perhaps in the reviewer’s opinion, that pair was so cut out and others were not.
The real tell, however, is Steve’s ability to comment on the reviewer’s proposed lousy spinoff and make it immediately palatable (not to mention beadslut’s calling attention to a scene and characters with echoes in centuries of books and dozens of films). The author can take even the mundane, as Stoppard and Joyce and many others established, and render it into story. If the author can get it alight, any wood will burn.
5 Kee // Jun 6, 2010 at 1:35 pm
I think R&G were perhaps two of the least likely characters but Stoppard managed to make it a feature rather than a bug, so I completely agree that if the author can get it alight, any wood will burn.
But Mercutio and the Nurse? Those two together? This is buzzing with possibilities. I want to see it too.
6 Sharon C. // Jun 6, 2010 at 2:23 pm
“Mercutio and Nurse”!
Mercutio has always been my favorite. I always thought Juliet would get sick of all Romeo’s angst and take up with Mercutio because he could make her laugh.
Nurse would be even better.
7 Carl // Jun 6, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Having played Guildenstern, I have to agree. And besides, nobody really knows what they did when off-stage.
8 Mary Bertke // Jun 6, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Ok, so pitch it for us. What would be the plotline of Mercutio and the Nurse? Theme? Typical episode happenings? Feel?
9 skzb // Jun 6, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Mary: He’s the ghost of one of the best blades in Verona, she’s an out-of-work nanny. They fight crime.
10 jeff lowrey // Jun 6, 2010 at 7:18 pm
fight crime?
Surely she’s a werewolf and he’s a vampire and together they cook up meth in southwestern Utah in the middle of a polygamous commune of former tropical island refuges who are showing off their talents as singers, models, dancers, and chefs… ?
11 Evrett // Jun 6, 2010 at 8:06 pm
No no..Our nurse has been possessed by a number of shakespears fallen characters, who take control of her at awkward times leading to heroic swordplay and lesbian romance. Her search to cure herself of this Schizophrenia leads her to journey the high seas, explore the wilds of colonial and mezo American and even to the exotic ports of the ottoman empire. Along the way she must protect her “passengers” from agents of the inquisition, Aztec gods and avoid further possession by rival dead heroes such as Christopher Columbus.
12 jeff lowrey // Jun 6, 2010 at 8:23 pm
“heroic swordplay and lesbian romance”?
Well, as long as you don’t get that reversed, I’m sure it will be playable on basic cable.
13 MikeS // Jun 7, 2010 at 9:44 am
“Mercutio and the Nurse, or ‘Everyone dies.’: A Comedy in 5 Acts”
14 Sharon C. // Jun 7, 2010 at 10:59 am
Ooo… Maybe they could solve mysteries too.
“And I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t been for that pesky Shade of Verona and his awkwardly possessed, sometimes lesbian, nurse sidekick!”
Uh, maybe not.
15 Rathgar // Jun 7, 2010 at 3:40 pm
After a well meaning but unsuccessful effort to make peace between some Mexican bandidos and a gang of bank robbing gunslingers, Mercutio and Angelica find themselves standing in the ashes of a feud which has left both sides dead. Grabbing all the loot, they decide they’ve stumbled on a great way to cut down on the vengeful cliques which so annoy them and make a living at the same time. They travel through time Yojimbo-ing a new set of Hatfields and Mccoys each episode.
16 Pamela Dean // Jun 7, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Television doesn’t want me to write for it. Trust me.
You know who you need, don’t you? Mike Ford.
Pamela
17 skzb // Jun 7, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Oh, man. Yeah. *sob*
18 Mark Hall // Jun 7, 2010 at 9:25 pm
@beadslut: It’s called “I Sell the Dead”
19 Rathgar // Jun 8, 2010 at 11:52 am
Mike Ford, what an outstanding idea. Not only could he have made a work of art out of this idea in any number of different formats, he would have changed the way we think about stories involving secondary characters from Shakespeare. Only, now I’m really bummed that he’s not around to do it :-(
20 Jason s.b.f. // Jun 8, 2010 at 12:59 pm
I love how everyone on this thread automatically knows Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
Here is the link,
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127481943
21 schmwarf // Jun 8, 2010 at 6:33 pm
I’m still scarred from having only one speaking line playing Benvolio – “Why Rosaline?” followed by miming out my defense of Romeo to the Prince after the Tybalt incident. Granted, it was it was a primary school play which the script was based on a “children’s storybook” form of the Romeo and Juliet which in turn, was based on the original script so he may have had a larger profile – but I’m guessing not much.
No. I think the best spin-off would be about Benvolio discovering the true source of the feuding families – a magic ring devised by some kind of ancient evil. His quest would be to destroy it with the help of a magical cat and a surly dwarf. Otherwise all will be doomed. Then topping off a sale of the filming rights Robert Rodriguez in which he turns it into an annoying 90 minute kid’s movie – I think that would do Shakespeare true justice.
22 Smilodon // Jun 9, 2010 at 6:32 am
I dunno who said this, but some critic suggested that Mercutio had to be killed off because he was obviously more interesting than the leads and was getting in the way of the play.
Which I’ve always thought is true. Because I think Romeo and Juliet are boring.
Shakespeare should’ve stuck with Mercutio. I mean, seriously, Romeo was seriously boring his friends by being in love with somebody else (Rosalind?) at the start of the play. Couldn’t he have kept boring them with different obsessions all the way through?
So. Despite Stoppard’s achievement with boring secondary (tertiary?) characters, there’s a place for secondary characters rebelling and seizing the narrative.
Off in a different narrative dimension, 12th Night has always been a favourite of mine. What if somebody wrote a Dumas plus 12th Night thingo? What if Khaavren and his lady had twins who were lost at sea? And found? Just a thought.
23 MarkW // Jun 9, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Someone bet Harlan Elison a beer he can’t write a pilot for this in 5 minutes.
24 skzb // Jun 9, 2010 at 11:16 pm
MarkW: Yep. That’d do it.
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