Words    Words    Words

One day three blind men approached a car.  The first one touched the side-view mirror and said, “It’s an antique.  Probably mid-50’s.”  The second touched the rear fender and said, “Yep.  ‘56 Dodge.”  The third touched the front bumper, which hit him, busting his leg up pretty good.  He’s the one who was Enlightened.
– Billy-Bob [...]

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One day it rained so hard that, even after it stopped, there was a puddle at the corner of Alamo Street and Texas Avenue.  Billy-Bob Gautama got his fishing pole, dropped a line into the puddle, and made like he was fishing.  Johnny Nogg came by, saw him, and said, “Hey, Goat, how many have [...]

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One day a famous Zen Master named Shuzan was visiting Billy-Bob Gautama.  Shuzan picked up the short staff that was leaning against the porch and said, “If you call this a short staff, you oppose its reality.  If you do not call it a short staff, you ignore the fact.  Now [...]

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One day Billy-Bob Gautama was arrested for manslaughter in the death of the man who’d slapped his little sister.  He went before the judge and said, “Judge, if you say I am responsible for this, are you not denying the reality of the bullet that entered Two-step Cordell?  And the gun that fired the bullet?  [...]

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“The cause of suffering is selfish desire, except sometimes when it’s from getting your leg caught in a bear trap.”
– Billy-Bob Gautama

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“From lust springs grief, from lust springs fear, for him who is wholly free from lust there is no grief, much less fear.  Kinda sucks, though.”
– Billy-Bob Gautama

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“Life is like a flea on a coon hound.  Well, really, it ain’t much like that at all.”
Billy-Bob Gautama

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Fill your mind with compassion and your truck with premium so she don’t knock on the hills.
– Billy-Bob Gautama

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I’m recording this here so I can find it.  After consulting with the vet, my best guess for Tuli’s birthday (for those who don’t know, Tuli is a stray yellow Lab that adopted me a couple of months ago) is April 9, 2009.

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“When I said you was s’posed to become one with the duck before you pull the trigger, I didn’t mean you was s’posed to shoot yourself.”
– Billy-Bob Gautama

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The Manifold Path:
1. Right View: Get glasses if you need ‘em, nothing to be ashamed about.
2.  Right Intention: Plan to get that roof fixed.
3. Right Speech: Sharp commands will work best on your hound dog
4. Right Action:  Clean your shotgun after each use.
5. Right Livlihood: If you can’t get a job at Jake’s Auto Repair, [...]

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Before Enlightenment: change the oil and rotate the tires.  After Enlightenment: change the oil and rotate the tires.
– Billy-Bob Gautama

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A friend of mine did a rather weird interview with me.  If you’re interested, it can be found here.

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What is the sound of one car rusting?
–Billy-Bob Gautama

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One day, Billy-Bob Gautama drove down to The Roundup Bar and Grille and said to the bartender, “Russ, I want ten shots of Jim Beam.  Line ‘em up!”  The bartender (whose name was Orin) poured out ten shots of Jim Beam in a neat line, and Billy-Bob began to slam them.  He got seven of [...]

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One day Annie Sue Perkins came to visit Billy-Bob Gautama and said, “Goat, if I freely explore my sensual needs and desires, am I in danger of harming my spiritual growth?”  Billy-Bob said, “Get in the truck, bitch.”  This is how Annie Sue Perkins achieved enlightenment.

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Starting sometime tomorrow, I won’t have internet access until Thursday.  Try to behave yourselves.

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One day Bubba went to Billy-Bob Gautama and said, “I get up every morning at 6:30am for work, and then all day I feel like a fool.  Goat, why is that?” Billy-Bob said, “Cause you ain’t got no job.”  In that moment, Bubba achieved enlightenment.

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“If you put your car on blocks, it’ll save the tires.  But she won’t get you too far.” — Billy-Bob Gautama

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Thanks to help from many people, we have moved about 95% of the Dream Cafe to its new home in Austin.  We have to wait a few days yet for the electricity and other utilities to be turned on, but I’m pretty sure the move will be complete by the middle of next week.  Thanks [...]

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This chapter deals with the accumulation of capital.  The second half of the chapter isn’t especially interesting to me, as it concerns itself with the way an individual might spend his capital (luxeries or production, and the kind of luxeries) and the effect this has on the capital of the nation.  Today, the issue is [...]

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I got to have dinner with The Amazing Mris and her Merry Band, and she cooked, and I discovered that one can make something with paprika and saffron and it is very, very good.  I had never even thought of combining paprika and saffron.
Yum.

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A friend just asked me to recommend some dark fantasy, and I realized that, with the exception of anything by Tim Powers, I don’t know much about it.  You can argue about what “Dark Fantasy” means, if you wish*, but also throw in some reading suggestions.  Thanks!
*One friend recently explained, “If I like it, it’s [...]

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